I have been thinking, yes thinking again. They say it is dangerous for a woman to think. It probably is, because we think so hard and so much that if we thought too much this world would be exposed for what it really is – a heap of hypocritical uneducated arseholes who think they are better than the rest of the uneducated arseholes. But this is besides the point... my question is: why do women/girls diet? Why do I diet?
Okay so why DO I diet? It could be something to do with my own self image, no it is definitely to do with my own self image. Does the media have any say in my dieting? Yes. Do I like that I am affected by the media? No. But I evidently am.
When I was ten I remember saying, no, vowing, that I would never look in a mirror and ask my significant other/ anyone standing beside me while I am looking into said mirror, ‘does my bum look big in this?’ However, I am pretty sure that since then I have. Numerous times. I remember a girl in school pinching the layer of flab that cushioned my rib cage and declaring that I had ‘rolls’ and that she didn’t. I was thirteen. I had bearly lost my puppy fat, in fact I probably hadn’t seeing as I had only just entered the most devastating, soul crushing stage of my life, adolescence. I suppose adolescence sucks for everyone. I doubt anyone has any other reaction to starting their period than breaking down in tears, and if they don’t break down in tears at the realisation that you are now bleeding from your vagina and will do every month for the rest of the foreseeable future you are quite possibly a masochist. What this long winded paragraph is trying to say is, girls in school are bitches and can have a ridiculous impact on the rest of your life if they time their bitchiness right, and this one did.
These days though, I blame men for my dieting habit. Who are the most attractive women in Hollywood? Are they fat? No? Of course they are not. They are tiny and probably weigh the same as my left leg.
Every time a boyfriend would tell me how ‘hot as fuck’ some super skinny latex clad girl with F cup breasts and thighs you could crack peanuts between something inside me would decide that if I did not acquire all of her feminine attributes, or at least some of her feminine attributes I would no longer be attractive in the eyes of my boyfriend and during sex and/or my boyfriends inevitable masturbation session later that night, he would not be thinking of me and how ‘hot as fuck’ I was but of her. This therefore starts a domino effect where each domino falls down on top of me at the same time and buries me into a pit of self pity.
So first I wanted to achieve the perfect abs, just like the ones you see on TV, when a girl takes off her top and she looks so trim in her bra, no extra skin hanging over the sides, the cups seem to hug her breasts like clouds cupping the sun on a summers day, ah, beautiful. No ugly strap marks on her shoulders where the weight of her giant bosoms has dug them into her perfectly angular collar bones. Then she takes off her bra revealing her beautifully rounded, natural breasts with two nipples who point towards the ceiling, hard as if the room is twenty degrees below zero. Oh well here’s something no amount of cardio will ever help me achieve, the perfect perky breasts that all these beautiful women seem to have. So what’s the point? Maybe I should just grab another aero bar, or maybe if I have her abs my boyfriend will over look the imperfect, sagging breasts whose giant nipples seem to point down in shame towards the floor? Maybe I could achieve the perfect arse instead? But SHE has the perfect package! Surely nothing you will do will ever be good enough?! Probably not.
I kid you not, those thoughts have all run through my head numerous times, and probably through womens heads forever. I mean sure, NOW there are images of mens torsos plastered all over television, okay, maybe there could do with a few more, but women have ALWAYS had PLENTY of half naked unachievably slim beauty’s to compare themselves to, ones they will never ever live up to, and those beautiful women we see just keep getting thinner as the average woman gets bigger. Is that fair? I don’t think so.
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