it's a long way to the top.... if you wanna rock n roll

I feel like a rant (again) I know it's all I do but I really feel this issue NEEDS to be addressed. Since when is it cool to pose naked in pictures at the tender age of 17 and exclaim you are a 'model'? Further more, what is with the mass amount of 'alternative models' that have popped up on the internet? HOW THE FUCK ARE YOU A MODEL? URGH. And I really doubt you have that figure and eat 20 big macs a week, douchebag.
I just find it super concerning that the vast majority of young women are suddenly deciding to become alternative models (*cough* glamour models) and find it perfectly fine for this to be their life time wish.
I mean for one, the 'alternative' lifestyle used to be one that addressed issues such as racism, sexism, homophobia, etc. and these days it seems to just reinstate these issues rather than tackeling them. In the late 70's it was shocking and subversive to wear pants that showed your naked butt and burn your bra. These days these things seem to reinstate sexism and further solidify such issues into modern daily life.
JUST BECAUSE A NAKED GIRL HAS TATTOOS DOES NOT MAKE HER FEMINIST.
Jesus.
Female friendly pornography is not photographed by men for men and does not patronise female models into thinking they are somehow doing something for the greater good of womankind by taking their panties off. Suicide girls is not female friendly, or post feminist. It is just another mainstream pornographic company run by 'the man'. How can that be 'punk rock' how can that be 'feminist' how the fuck is that ALTERNATIVE?

Get a clue.
Rant over.
:)

P.S. There is, granted, a fine line between embracing your feminine sexuality and capitolising on it and just becoming another sheep in the slaughter house...What ever happened to wonder woman being a role model? I mean she oozes sex appeal but kicks ass at the same time. We need a revolution, we need another Buffy.

Controversial Subject....

Controversial, I know, but I actually kinda like this new Wonder Woman reboot... I mean, she is pretty badass and when characters have SO much history, like Wonder Woman, it's easy to get lost in the multiple reincarnations, so why not start again? I mean, I don't see why DC have labelled it a total reboot, it's just another new comic to add onto the multiple variations of WW, Batman, Flash, etc... so it's not really a reboot at all, it's just an addition. I am kind of disappointed she is still wearing pants though... I was super excited when I saw her shiny blue leggings last year...

Rant.... Why Do Girls Diet?!

I have been thinking, yes thinking again. They say it is dangerous for a woman to think. It probably is, because we think so hard and so much that if we thought too much this world would be exposed for what it really is – a heap of hypocritical uneducated arseholes who think they are better than the rest of the uneducated arseholes. But this is besides the point... my question is: why do women/girls diet? Why do I diet?

Okay so why DO I diet? It could be something to do with my own self image, no it is definitely to do with my own self image. Does the media have any say in my dieting? Yes. Do I like that I am affected by the media? No. But I evidently am.

When I was ten I remember saying, no, vowing, that I would never look in a mirror and ask my significant other/ anyone standing beside me while I am looking into said mirror, ‘does my bum look big in this?’ However, I am pretty sure that since then I have. Numerous times. I remember a girl in school pinching the layer of flab that cushioned my rib cage and declaring that I had ‘rolls’ and that she didn’t. I was thirteen. I had bearly lost my puppy fat, in fact I probably hadn’t seeing as I had only just entered the most devastating, soul crushing stage of my life, adolescence. I suppose adolescence sucks for everyone. I doubt anyone has any other reaction to starting their period than breaking down in tears, and if they don’t break down in tears at the realisation that you are now bleeding from your vagina and will do every month for the rest of the foreseeable future you are quite possibly a masochist. What this long winded paragraph is trying to say is, girls in school are bitches and can have a ridiculous impact on the rest of your life if they time their bitchiness right, and this one did.

These days though, I blame men for my dieting habit. Who are the most attractive women in Hollywood? Are they fat? No? Of course they are not. They are tiny and probably weigh the same as my left leg.

Every time a boyfriend would tell me how ‘hot as fuck’ some super skinny latex clad girl with F cup breasts and thighs you could crack peanuts between something inside me would decide that if I did not acquire all of her feminine attributes, or at least some of her feminine attributes I would no longer be attractive in the eyes of my boyfriend and during sex and/or my boyfriends inevitable masturbation session later that night, he would not be thinking of me and how ‘hot as fuck’ I was but of her. This therefore starts a domino effect where each domino falls down on top of me at the same time and buries me into a pit of self pity.

So first I wanted to achieve the perfect abs, just like the ones you see on TV, when a girl takes off her top and she looks so trim in her bra, no extra skin hanging over the sides, the cups seem to hug her breasts like clouds cupping the sun on a summers day, ah, beautiful. No ugly strap marks on her shoulders where the weight of her giant bosoms has dug them into her perfectly angular collar bones. Then she takes off her bra revealing her beautifully rounded, natural breasts with two nipples who point towards the ceiling, hard as if the room is twenty degrees below zero. Oh well here’s something no amount of cardio will ever help me achieve, the perfect perky breasts that all these beautiful women seem to have. So what’s the point? Maybe I should just grab another aero bar, or maybe if I have her abs my boyfriend will over look the imperfect, sagging breasts whose giant nipples seem to point down in shame towards the floor? Maybe I could achieve the perfect arse instead? But SHE has the perfect package! Surely nothing you will do will ever be good enough?! Probably not.

I kid you not, those thoughts have all run through my head numerous times, and probably through womens heads forever. I mean sure, NOW there are images of mens torsos plastered all over television, okay, maybe there could do with a few more, but women have ALWAYS had PLENTY of half naked unachievably slim beauty’s to compare themselves to, ones they will never ever live up to, and those beautiful women we see just keep getting thinner as the average woman gets bigger. Is that fair? I don’t think so.

A Nail?? It's my whole fucking finger!

One Eyed Monster

I came across this gem while browsing through the movie channels late at night, oh how I love you Horror Channel, what did I do before you existed? Obviously didn’t watch Ron Jeremy’s penis detach itself from his body and start on a murderous rampage across a remote porn film set that’s for sure, those were dark days... This film = the mutated grandchild of the thing and alien fathered by a Ron Jeremy. It is quite honestly one of the most riDICKulous (like my pun? Oh hahaha) movies I have ever laid eyes upon, and I am queen of all films stupid.

Still unconvinced? Why the fuck are you reading this blog then?

Found these beauties!!...

From my zine review....

MY Top 5 Halloween Films

All set at Halloween, of course!

5. The Nightmare Before Christmas

Tim Burton’s fantastic animated film about a pumpkin king who tires of Halloween and brings horrors to children on Christmas day is perfect for all the family to enjoy, and what better time to watch it than in the months between Halloween and Christmas Day? It has become a cult classic, and one of Burton’s most loved films, it also boasts a killer soundtrack... 

4. Donnie Darko

Richard Kelly’s debut stars Jake Gyllenhaal as an odd boy who receives visions of a creepy Giant Rabbit named Frank in the 28 days leading up to Halloween, on which day, according to Frank, the world will end. This one may take a few watches to fully understand but it remains a favourite with critics. Watch out for clips of the Evil Dead while Donnie is in the cinema, another cult horror favourite suitable for a successfully spooky Fright Night.

3. Hocus Pocus

Bette Midler stars in this Family favourite about a group of three witches mistakenly brought back to life and raising havoc on a Salem. A young Jessica Parker and a very young Thora Birch co-star in this fantastical adventure completely suitable for kids, believe me I was one on its first release! Plus, how unbelievably frickin cool is this guys make up?? (see above!)

2. Trick ‘R Treat

The Halloween horror film version of Love Actually, minus the romance... need I say more? Stars Anna Paquin of True Blood fame and is a genuinely creepy watch. Creepy kid with a sack over his head and a knife? Yeah I thought you'd be shitting your pants too.

1. Halloween

I couldn’t miss out the classic John Carpenter slasher film, the perfect end to a Halloween Horror Movie Marathon. Who knew a Captain Kirk mask could be so unbelievabley creepy?!

Coming soon!

Cinema

The 3D remake of Fright Night starring Colin Farrell was released last month, and soon to come is Guillermo del Toro’s Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark, yet another horror movie remake although this one promises to be a good don’t expect it to live up to the original. Also coming soon is the unnecessary reimagining of John Carpenter’s The Thing, needless to say I will still be seeing it...

DVD

If none of the above take your fancy why not rent something a little darker this Halloween? Here’s a few DVD releases that will get your skin crawling...

John Carpenter’s The Ward

Creepy ghost story from the legendary John Carpenter, his first full length feature film for ten years.

Scream 4

The fourth instalment of the popular tongue and cheek slasher trilogy sees David Arquette and Courtney Cox reunited on screen.

Supernatural Complete Season 6

Everyone’s favourite demon hunters return for a sixth season on DVD just as season 7 airs in the USA.

Stakeland

Brilliantly bleak vampire post apocalyptic horror, definitely worth a watch.

George A Romero Presents Deadtime Stories Vol. 1

Three 30 minute horror flicks from the Zombie master himself.

Horror Hall of Fame!

While on vacation in Ontario I came across a hidden gem of a movie theatre full of all sorts of movie related memorabilia! At the back of the theatre was a monster movie hall of fame game, can you guess all the movies represented? Here are a few of my favourites!

Stake Land (2010)

Director:  Jim Mickle

Country:  USA

Tagline:  The most dangerous thing is to be alive

Plot:  America is transformed into an apocalyptic wasteland inhabited by vampires and sadistic cults. A world  Richard Matheson envisioned in his novel, I am Legend back in 1954, Stake Land is a film he would have been proud to write.

Verdict: Stake Land is not for the faint of heart, it is a truly harrowing interpretation of a world consumed by sin. The world in which Martin and Mister live is inhabited by zombie-like vampires, but they aren't even the most dangerous creatures - a cult of white supremist, sadists control much of the north of America. Stakeland isn't everybody's cup of tea, and it certainly isn't anything like the previous run of zombie apocalypse or indeed vampire flicks plastered all over the big screen. The film is a horror, a drama, and a genuinely thought provoking film with brilliant direction and a superb cast of relative unknowns (Kelly McGillis hasn't been well known since the 80's, and Danielle Harris isn't a house hold name unless you are a uber movie geek like me!)
10/10

Fright Night (1985)

Director: Tom Holland

Country:  USA

Tagline:  There are good reasons to be afraid of the dark

Plot:  Horror obsessed Charley believes his new neighbour is a vampire, thing is.. nobody believes him.

Verdict: A cult movie classic, this one has every 80's horror staple. Charley's neighbour of course turns out to be a vamp who kidnaps his girlfriend in true Dracula style, 'glamouring' her into dancing with him and then turning her into an ugly vampire creature, whose hair miraculously grows while vampified and shrinks again when Charley comes to the rescue with Van Helsing, nay Peter Vincent. Basically it is a Dracula tale without most of the sexism (it's still the 80's) and less of the accents. A fun night is to be had watching it, but not a frightening one.